(you can do better than me) (Photo credit: ashley rose,)
From almost as early as I can remember I was never quite good enough. I say 'not good enough' here as that is how I internalised my Mother's and others "you could do better". It is interesting how the internal goings on 'twist' the truth into something a little more sterner, a little more painful. The truth is that at that time, I would have been around 5 or 6 years old "you could do better" surely felt like "you are not good enough".
It took a good deal of breathwork sessions to get me to the point where I could start to see what was really going on and where the heart of the trouble lay. Basically it was with my internal parents, not my external parents.My "not good enough" button or issue has been a major driving force in my life to date. It has forced me to work harder, strive higher and generally ignore how well I actually have been doing, done or did. Why? Because I was always "not good enough" or so the voices inside assured me.
Needless to say whilst I was laboring on under the whip of my internal parents the mere idea that I could be good enough would send them into huge fits of arguments about why I was not good enough. Lord forbid, that somebody offered me praise or affirmed the good quality of the work I was doing, that became bring out the "whip" time and I had to beat myself up because I was unworthy of such praise due to my massive failure to be good enough in their eyes.
I could go on about this aspect of my life, but I will spare you more details until later.
What started this posting of was the fact that one of my recent Danish clients has made a short video testimonial of her reason for coming to me for breathwork, what it is like to work with me and the greatest benefit she has had from the sessions with me so far.
I can now accept that I am good at what I do, and this is a huge change for me in my life. This change has come about not because loads of people have told me how good I am, no, it has happened because of the work I have done on myself and because of the breathwork sessions I have had over the years.
So thank you Ingrid for allowing me to see this more clearly and understanding that I truly can accept that I am good enough. Now here is Ingrid's testimonial.